Minnie Pauline

I feel stuck. My body lies under the leaden blanket of fatigue, so thick that even the gorgeous bright day doesn’t quite penetrate. I want to be inspired to write. I want to be inspired to create. But the house is cluttered and my body won’t cooperate and I just. can’t. think.   It really is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the wind blows gentle and brisk, and the air is washed clean from yesterday’s storm. The temperature has dropped about twenty degrees, too, which helps tremendously. It’s really an ideal day. The kind you get in late August, promising that Fall is just around the corner. I noticed some tiny patches of leaves starting to change yesterday. It’s exciting.  I guess I’ll just resolve to enjoy the day, any way I can. Probably from the comfort of my patio. Doing...not much. 

I was writing a knitting blog. I wasn't talking about, well, so much. Like the fact that I had just survived cancer. Or that the chemo and radiation had left me with fibromyalgia, which in turn left me barely able to drag myself through the week. I didn't know then that I also had rheumatoid arthritis. The world didn't seem so dangerous. I was still working. I still had a "face" I wanted to maintain. I want to be more honest now. This blog will still be about knitting, because I am a knitter, even if I can't do it as much as I would like. There will also be some crochet, some sewing, some news about writing. And I'm going to write about my health, at least occasionally. Because it's something that I struggle with every day. It's part of me. And it's invisible, for the most part. So the only way anyone knows anything is wrong is if I say something.  So this is me, saying something.